1000 days.
That is how long our little girl has been placed with us through foster care.
Nothing could have prepared us for what these 1000 days have brought us.
Not a year long licensing process.
Not continued trainings and testing.
No preemptive conversation or prayer.
It’s a journey that you kind of have to experience to understand.
Experiences change us.
There’s no way around it.
I remember having thoughts, ideas, empathy and compassion for those inside the foster care system. But it’s hard to say, “I understand” until you’re crying in the back of a court room over the life of child and family.
Again, our experiences change us.
They not only can change our perspective at a philosophical level but also our plans on a daily, practical (or impractical) level.
We’ve sacrificed and have had to adapt to a lot over these last 1000 days.
Needing approval for any/every trip.
Touring our house to every new worker as they look through our cabinets, closets, financial statements, and more.
Watching our biological children be interviewed one on one by strangers (to them) in our house.
Rescheduling lives around parent visits in another county.
Documenting anything, advocating for everything, and pushing against a system that is fundamentally flawed.
Cleaning and quieting the house for zoom meetings, court appearances, and parent visits.
Building a strong, trusting relationship, as a family, with her biological mom.
Experiencing pain, heartache, frustration and loss alongside her and our little girl.
Learning, experiencing and struggling with the layers and layers of trauma.
1000 days have brought us:
7 different case workers | 3 different supervisors | 3 different licensing workers
Some hair has grayed.
Some hair has just straight up left.
As we continuously navigate parenting a child with trauma, while balancing the fact that she is our fourth… I’m reminded of how fortunate we are to have her as part of our family.
I’m reminded of why we chose to step into this.
Every life has a beautiful story waiting to be told. Her story, her life, has so much good ahead of it. And we get to play a part in watching her shine.
Isn’t that some of the greatest joy of parenting and influence?
It is for me.
I love my children. And I love watching and helping shape the stories they are living.
This journey for us has been by far the most risk-taking, faith-filled adventure we’ve ever been on.
It’s hard. On all of us. But I’m thankful we’ve experienced it.
It’s changed all of us. She’s changed all of us.
When people ask, has foster care been what thought it would be?
No, worse. But worth it.