Stop cleaning up the mess.
You know the saying, “one step forward - two steps back?”
That plays out far more than I would like it to in my life.
The other night, our two year old found her way out of her booster seat and into someone else’s seat at the dinner table.
She is one that knows how to seize opportunities.
A salt container was positioned in the middle of the table. But this was her moment.
She lept from the chair and belly flopped onto the table with arms spread out reaching for the salt.
Once in her hand, she preceded to dump as much of it on the table as possible before I could get to her.
It was a nice salt mountain.
I got to her as quickly as I could, removed the salt from her hand and set it on the table. Then, I grabbed a napkin and began sweeping the salt with my hand into said napkin. She sat down in the chair and watched with a smile.
After gathering all the salt, I turned around to dump it in the garbage can.
As I was dumping it in, one of daughters yelled (while laughing), “daddy, she’s got it again!”
Tragedy.
Two things went wrong here (among other things I’m sure):
I neglected to remove my two year old from the “hazard” area.
I neglected to remove the salt container from her reach.
I was too busy cleaning up the mess that was there in front of us.
Now, intuitively, most of us know that a toddler in reach of a salt container is a recipe for a mess.
Good thing a lifetime supply of salt is around $2.
I cleaned the mess, but didn’t contain the source of the mess.
Often times, this scenario manifests as an illustration for our nagging struggles.
We “fix” things (I say loosely) for the moment but we haven’t contained the source.
Without containing the source, the problem is destined to return.
Whether it’s at work or at home. Privately or Publicly.
Our struggles will not go away until we learn to contain the source.
When you think through some of the ever present struggles throughout your day - do you consider the source?
What would be different if we chose to not only clean the mess but take steps into identifying and containing the source of the mess?
Here are two steps to containing the source:
Look beyond the mess.
This sounds obvious doesn’t it?
In the moment, it’s so easy to get tunnel vision and miss this first step.
We want to make sure our mess isn’t seen by too many. We want to make sure our mess doesn’t get much bigger.
There are plenty of valid reasons for us to put the blinders on. A lot of times, our mess doesn’t allow too much time for us to even look. We’re in the middle of a mess for crying out loud!
It’s all about split-second decisions to make sure no one else knows we missed a deadline or forgot to return a text or ____.
This is a learned skill. It’s not something that comes naturally to most of us.
There’s a reason some of us are first responders and some of us are not.
What I am suggesting is less of a hands-on skill but a more practical debriefing of the moment.
You and I may not be able to pick up on situational awareness skills as quickly as some, but what all of us can do is learn to assess the mess.
There may be hidden (and likely obvious) factors leading to the mess we found ourselves in.
Start to contain the source.
It’s time to stop only cleaning up the mess.
[That may have been a better, less click-bait style title to this post but here we are…]
To change and progress, we’re going to need to take a deep breath and walk towards the root of our mess.
When we begin peeking behind the curtain of life’s problems, we may not like what we find. This part is troublesome for many of us.
But here’s what I know. None of us like to be in the middle of a mess.
It stresses us. It panics us. It, at times, challenges our credibility.
Messes are not the enemy. Life is full of them. The question is - do we find ourselves in the same recurring messes often?
In order for this to change, we need to be willing to take steps in growth. Whether that’s finding a mentor for personal or professional help. Or maybe getting real personal or professional help with a life coach or therapist.
Find the source of your mess and find resources to help you contain that specific mess.
Anyone can clean up a mess.
Few learn how to contain the source of a mess.
You have what it takes to be one of the few.
If you’re looking for a great personal growth today, there is a beautiful story and book by Carlos Whittaker called, “Kill the Spider.” *It is written from a Christian faith perspective.