How to Maintain Healthy Boundaries
Our 2 year old is a genius. At least it feels that way most days.
She knows how to maneuver her way around every boundary or line we establish.
Cabinet stoppers - Easy.
Seat buckles - Easy.
Door locks - Easy.
Crib / Pack n Play - Absolutely!
We have a child-proof baby gate at the top of the stairs that most adults can’t figure out. Doesn’t matter.
The most obvious breach for me was when she was a little smaller. I would sometimes put her in the pack n play for awhile so that I could work, exercise, or complete a small project.
On more than one occasion, she ended up standing next to me holding my arm saying, “Hi daddy!” in the sweetest, most upsetting way.
So I would put her back in and then watch as she huffed and puffed and found a way to Houdini herself out. It wasn’t graceful. But it worked.
Time to “UP” my strategy.
A boundary isn’t a boundary if it’s not truly protecting you.
In this case, I wasn’t protecting myself from my toddler (although I have a scar on my face that would say I may need to). But my plan of having a boundary or barrier for her was obviously not keeping her from escaping and causing mayhem in the basement.
You’ve probably been in similar situations where you had boundaries that were set, but a problem, temptation, or weakness found a way to pry through.
I have been trying to schedule more blocks of time to write down my thoughts. Do you know what sounds amazing at no other time but those moments... starting a new Netflix series. Hitting YouTube to watch a video I’ve seen 10 times already. Searching Wikipedia to find out what other work Lamorne Morris (Winston from New Girl) has done.
To take it further, how many times have the intentions of a boundary not been lived out practically, leading us to more destructive decisions? Ones with more of a ripple effect than not putting in the extra mile at work.
We need to regularly evaluate our existing boundaries.
Ask yourself this important question:
Are my boundaries designed for and functioning in ways that help me live the best version of my life’s story?
Anything short of that - you could be keeping yourself from the goals and wins you desire.
What boundaries do you have?
What boundaries do you need to set?