Shoe Swap: Why Empathy Matters
On rare occasions do sequels wind up being better than the first. Fingers crossed this post lives up to the hype!
Welcome to part 2 of our mini-series, “Shoe Swap.”
In part 1, we discussed what empathy is and how it benefits those around us. This time around, we’re going to discuss the added value and impact, for our lives, that putting this skill into practice brings.
This is some of the “WHY” behind learning and living (with) empathy.
Let’s break down 3 benefits we can experience personally when we learn to be more empathic.
1) Personal Connection.
It’s so easy to have a strong opinion about people without having even scratched the surface of knowing them personally.
Recently, the host of wheel of fortune had to publicly stand up for contestants who were unable to solve a puzzle. With the letters available, some viewers were able to decipher the answer that couldn’t be figured out.
As the host points out, nearly all of those poking fun at the contestants have no idea what it feels like to be under pressure and stress on national television. Think about it. Pressure and stress make it difficult for me to find the remote when I want to turn on the TV before a football game starts. I have to imagine the pressure and stress is a little higher if I were in the shoes of those gameshow contestants.
This is where empathy is important. Remember, empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. Before we join in on the laughing, think for a moment what it would feel like to be in their position, in those moments.
Do you see what can happen there? It starts moving us from that person on TV to what if that was me?
That’s from a distance. Now, look at those you know more personally or see daily.
What if we were to change that question to help guide us in every interaction (let’s have it still rhyme just for fun)…
What would I want others to see if that were me?
This question allows us to assess how emotional and relationally connected we are to the people around us. It breaks down barriers that we have built up in our minds.
Empathy humanizes others.
2) Personal Perspective.
Years ago, when in Philadelphia, I was responsible for navigating a group through the city.
Obviously, one of our first stops had to be the “rocky stairs.” It’s the famous museum where Rocky Balboa runs up the stairs in his training. As I write this, I realize some of you under 30 may not know what I’m talking about it - either way - we were visiting a famous spot in Philly.
When we were driving towards it, I ended up missing the exit.
We could see it getting closer and closer and closer…
And now we’re on the side of it…
And now we’re behind it.
I told everyone that my justification was, “Sure, we could see just the stairs, but I wanted us to get the full experience. How many people can say they saw the back of the museum too?!” I nervously laughed but no one else seemed to appreciate the joke as much as I did.
So I dug myself a deeper hole.
I began sharing (jokingly, mind you) the importance of perspective and seeing situations from a 360 degree angle. As much as I was kidding, I was definitely holding on to this illustration…
When we choose to understand others, we’re getting a better view of the situation they (or we) find themselves (ourselves) in. Chances are, when we look at situations or people from a different angle, we see things that we hadn’t seen before OR we learn about something we didn’t know existed. Like the dumpsters behind the Philadelphia Museum of Art.
In our interactions, empathy requires us to view the situation, a problem and a person, from a 360 degree angle. There’s likely more context to our circumstances than what is seen from our point of view.
Have you ever had a disagreement where both parties could be right? It was subjective to the context each individual had and there was not a “one size fits all” answer. It’s incredible how empathy can help us realize how grey a lot of life is. I don’t mean that in a “sad skies” way but how we’d love for everything to be black and white but it’s not. At the very least, it’s incredible how empathy can help us understand why someone came to the conclusion or thought they did, even if we disagree.
It prompts us to ask the question: What point of view can help me see more that is true?
“There’s more than one way to bake a cake.”
- someone who bakes I assume
Empathy provides context.
3) Personal Growth.
I’ve been exercising and training in a gym consistently again. I’m in my second month of training every day.
Progress is happening. Slow and steady but it’s happening. I’m not where I was 6 weeks ago that’s for sure!
It’s funny how quickly you can forget that weight doesn’t fly off immediately and you don’t become the epitome of health overnight. Our muscles need to be stretched and challenged consistently to be built stronger. This translates to any area of life.
Empathy is a learned (and lost) art. It’s not unlike any other skill or discipline. It requires us to be stretched and challenged consistently.
We can’t help but grow as a person when we’re taking steps towards understanding others more deeply.
It’s likely that we can all look back on situations where we wish we would have seen things from a different perspective. It’s also likely that we can look back on situations where we wish we had focused more on the person instead of the problem.
Empathy is the key ingredient to looking back on the next situations with fewer regrets and more peace.
Empathy creates growth.
When we swap shoes, we know more.
When we swap shoes, we see more.
When we swap shoes, we grow more.